If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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