so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
