Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
