Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize