I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
