as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
