I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize