He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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