That's intense
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
