I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
