My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
