Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
