Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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