small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no you cant smoke seaweed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
