"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm at about main and main street
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
