just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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