I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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