I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
