i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
