He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
