Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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