drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
