Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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