We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
