gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
