Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
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