Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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