i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
