just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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