Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
