I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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