I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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