You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
