nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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