Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
