After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
