i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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