I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
