I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
