At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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