You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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