We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
