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Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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