there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
