All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
