Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
