She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
