Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
