Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have fence marks all over my body
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize