he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
