So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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