We're facebook friends in real life
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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