Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
