I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
