Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
