The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
