He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
