Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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