I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
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