Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize