Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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