I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
