how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize