I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dicks are not precious.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
